today we finally quarrelled, it was a silent one. but one full of anger, disatisfaction, unhappiness.
its just like a balloon, one that is stretched so far till it burst.
i guess its just for you. mine's still stretching.
the day mine burst wld be the day when i walk away without bothering to explain at all.
its giving up, its learning to live without someone, its learning to finally express my unhappiness in a direct way, its learning to say no to someone that i love deeply.
i believe this would take much courage, but i've seen for myself how in frustration i shook ur hand away frm mine and ran away. as much as it hurts i did it.
u've done it so often to me that i've gotten used to it, that hurt, that helplessness and frustration whenever u do that.
before that day, i never walked away from you regardless of what reasons it may be.
i'll rather clenched my fist, scratch my palms just to pull it through with you.
you were the one whom always gave up first.
finally today we said whatever we needed to, may not be all that we've got to say but it doesnt matter anymore. these, got me thinking about our r/s.
i know its never easy to be in a r/s, but when your partner neglects whatever that you've done for them and concentrate more on your flaws, what would you do?
i always tot that loving someone was to do everything that you can just to make them happy. but you don't think that way. you never do and i doubt you ever will.
you said you changed for me, but why does it comes so unwillingly?
shldn't you be changing willingly for me? just like i do.
we both make sacrifices that we may not be aware of, why must you think that you're taken for granted? is that really so? what happens if i feel the same way too?
yes sometimes we do think that way, that's because we've forgotten the things that our partners have done for us.
i wish you could make changes for me.. but you wouldn't.
maybe, just maybe you don't love me as much as you think you do.
maybe one day when another girl comes by you would realise that i'm actually not the one.
excuses, you've given me lots of excuses.
so much that i've learned to ignore it.
its a pity you never reflect on yourself, even if you do, you'll never make changes.
you may not want to make changes for others cus you think they've got to accept who you are, but think about it again, changes that you make now ultimately benefits you in the long run. so why not?
i've done changes for you too.
hais, i really don't know what you want.
i'm so sick of trying to please you and in the end having to blame for.
trying to make you superior to motivate you, in the end you tell me you don't like to do things with me cus you'll always outshine me and you don't like it.
you asked me to plan things and in the end you blame me for forcing you to do things that you don't like. you know, i sense it too but i thought you would do things just for me.
nothing else, its simple as that.
the fact that you burst and tell me, means whatever you are doing now is not what you really want.
someday, this may just be the past.
the day when we walked separate ways.
its not easy for us to got through all these together, but its even more difficult for us to maintain and be frank with each other.
as time past we may simply just drift apart.
as time past we may forget whatever we've done each other
as time past we may even forget all the wonderful memories we had
as time past this feelings may fade.
no matter what it'll be in future, i'm glad i've figured out what's my 'last straw'.
till then i'll hold on even if it means gaining more scars shedding more tears.
Width 410px would look sweet. :)